The problem probably isn’t motivation…
I really do think women have been taught to misunderstand motivation completely. And we have the fitness industry (and social media) to thank for that. We talk about it like it’s some magic gene that certain people naturally have and others don’t. Like the women who exercise consistently, meal prep every week and always seem to make time for themselves have somehow unlocked something the rest of us are missing.
And I just don’t think that’s true.
I think what most people are actually looking for is excitement.
When women say:
“I just can’t find the motivation”
I rarely think it’s “motivation” that is the real issue. Because most of the time, the motivation already exists. You already agree that you want to:
Feel healthier. Stronger. More energetic. More confident.
Maybe your doctor has told you your health markers need attention. Maybe you’re exhausted by feeling uncomfortable in your body. Maybe you simply want to feel like yourself again.
The motivation to change something is already there.
So what’s missing?
It’s excitement. You want to feel like there is enough excitement driving you to get off the sofa, into your gym kit and out of the door. Enough excitement to forget the wind and rain outside where you planned to go for a run. You are hoping that you will WANT to do it, every single time.
But, we cannot expect ourselves to feel excited about exercise all the time. We are not excited every time we clean our teeth, empty the dishwasher, reply to emails or sort the children’s lunchboxes. We do those things because they matter, not because we wake up desperate to do them.
And yet, somewhere along the line, exercise became emotionally loaded.
Missing one workout suddenly feels like failure. Not wanting to go to the gym becomes:
“I’m lazy.”
“I’ve failed again.”
“I’m just not disciplined enough.”
And we carry so much shame around that.
But, Women are carrying more than ever.
Over the last few years of Coaching women, one thing has become incredibly obvious to me:
Most women are not struggling because they are incapable of consistency with exercise. We are struggling because we are trying to build fitness around lives that are full to the brim with responsibility.
Work.
Children.
Partners.
Life admin.
Appointments.
School bags.
Meals.
Deadlines.
Washing (endless washing).
And then, at the end of the day, they sit on the sofa and ask themselves the worst possible question:
“Do I really want to go to the gym right now?”
Honestly? The answer is often going to be no. And answering no does not mean you lack motivation as a basic skill. It does not mean you are broken. It does not mean you don’t care enough. And it definitely does not mean you are incapable of change.
Consistency becomes easier when you remove some of the decisions.
I think one of the biggest mistakes I see people make, is waiting to feel wildly inspired before they allow themselves to take action.
Long-term fitness is rarely built on constant excitement or motivation.
It is usually built through:
structure
routine
support
planning ahead
reducing decision fatigue
reducing the opportunity to emotionally negotiate with yourself about it every single day
That does not mean every workout suddenly feels easy. And it does not mean you never skip a session. And it definitely does not mean you suddenly become one of those people who loves exercise all the time (they don’t really exist…).
But it does mean you stop believing that consistency belongs only to people who feel motivated 24/7.